Mile Stones, Miracles and Moves

It is hard to believe that Zori is soon to be six months old! She is still the most beautiful baby in the world, to me. We have managed to squeeze in two visits and it has been more amazing each time. I do wish I could be there to watch her grow day by day, but we have learned to Skype. I will probably be 'computer Grandma' to her most of her life, but I will take what I can get.

Albert and I were able to visit the first of October for one last time. I had the distinct honor to be there when she found her voice and our visit was filled with the sounds of squeals and laughter. She is just such a happy baby and if she cries I never got to hear it. I think she just knew her Grandma was there and was on best behaviour. We took a ton of pictures and she will also probably grow up thinking we have these big black growths on our face. But, that too is ok because I love the subject and will continue to make her my little model. We Skyped recently and she was the cutest thing. She is now a growling baby girl. It was too cute for words. We got a really good laugh from it because her Dad use to say "Err" a lot, really a lot and she sounded just like him. I didn't realize those things were inherited and can't wait to see what else she comes up with.

One evening while I was holding her and talking to her, I got a phone call from my son in Texas. He hardly ever calls unless there is news (good or bad) so I was prepared for something. My first thought with the economy was that he was no longer employed. Was I relieved and over joyed when he said that they were pregnant!!!! What a perfect time to tell me. I got so excited that Zori probably thought her Grandma was losing it. Laying there in my arms and hearing the excitement in my sons voice, just made the news a little sweeter. She is due in May. My daughter-in-law has had a hard time and a lot of issues so I feel this baby is a real miracle. My son wants a girl so I am hoping he get his wish, but baby boys and just as sweet.

Unfortunately, they live 2000 miles away and have no internet. I am going to have to do a lot of praying so we can at least be 'Computer Grandma' to this one too. I will be doing a lot of traveling. I can see one on the way down to the other or even better maybe I can get them both to come to me and have a little family reunion. It has been many years since I have had all my children in one place at the same time.

My other news is that my daughter has finally found a home of her own. It is absolutely adorable. She found a condo with the perfect view of the mountains! It is all new and I am so proud for her. I am sure she will be bloggin about it soon. I was sad, but very glad to see her move. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy her company, but it was time for her to get a real life! Now she can have friends over and is fortunate enough to live a place that has a lot going on as a community. I think she will be very happy there for years to come.

I am one happy Mom and Grandma right now. This is a time of miracles and I have had my fair share this year. A husband who has been healed, two new babies and a home for my daughter. All is well with my kids and in this joyous season what more could you ask for than that!

Ok, I might be just a little proud, but this is a picture of the most beautiful child in the world! Meet Miss Azoria Marlae who made her entrance Tuesday, June 16, 2009 and her father Beau.

Need I say that he is a proud Daddy. She will definitely be a Daddy's girl. I think she already has him wrapped around her little finger.

Unfortunately, I have not had the privilege to meet her in person as she lives 8 hours away. I am however traveling as soon as possible. I already have plans to visit just about once a month until the snow starts. I am in hopes we will have a very very late winter. Of course judging by the past two, that won't happen.

I hope she isn't camera shy as I will be taking a lot of picture for posting.

My daughter and I had so much fun going shopping for baby things. They are just soooo cute now. I can't wait for her to grow into them. I think I will help her become a clothes hog for sure.

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

I have been giving a lot of thought to how I look lately. It isn't only the weight issue, but an age issue also. As I peer into the mirror, I am often surprised at who is looking back. After much thought I have concluded that I need to focus more on what the world really sees instead of just the superficial.

In today's society it is our looks that count the most. We are constantly encouraged to focus on ourselves and how we appear. This has become the focus of everything we see and hear. We are pressured from others, from advertising and by our own self image, to look as good as we can. The measure of who we are and what we are worth is placed in how we look.

But these things are nothing compared to how we really look on the inside. We may shine from without, but our inner person may for the most part be filled with all the ugliness of the world. Our whole nature may not be a pretty sight, but there is hope. There is a small part in each of us that remains enough like our creator that with some effort can push it's way to the outside to be revealed as God's shining glory.

It begins by admitting we have those things within us that are unpleasing to our Lord and accepting Him into our life. With the presence and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, we are then ready for the process of becoming the beautiful person God has always intended us to be. Not a superficial beauty, but a deep beauty that goes to the very heart of our souls. One that others will see and want.

Much like plastic surgery, it can be a very painful process at times, but the end product is magnificent. The mighty surgeon carefully cuts, snips, tucks and in the end all the junk of the world is slowly cut away leaving a fresh new you. This is an ongoing process which slowly restores us to what we were intended to look like from the very beginning.

We must be careful not to let ourselves become artificial in the process. Don't think you can get by with making yourself look good forever. God knows your heart. You can put on a good face, but it is what the Spirit has done on the inside that truly counts.

As the Word of God says in Proverbs 31:30, Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Overload

Actually I should start this out by saying that I have miraculously lost another 2 lbs. Yeah for me. It has been hard, but at least there was a small reward at the end so I won't complain, well too much.

If nothing else, I have learned this past week that my body doesn't really really like fried foods. In a moment of 'I am too tired to cook,' we went to a local fish place to eat. Of course this place specializes in good ol' fried fish and chips. I not only ate 'fried' fish and chips, but because of a generous young man in the check out line, I took full advantage of the 'All You Can Eat' coupon he shared with us. Did dieting cross my mind? NO. All I could think was I am hungry and I get all I can eat. So I did. I did manage to get control of myself somewhat and stopped when I was really full instead of really really full. It wasn't until we were headed home that the reality of what I had just eaten hit me.

It didn't hit me in the fact I had just eaten a billion calories and fats. It hit me where it hurt. It was a good thing the family went to bed early so they didn't have to listen to my moans and groans. Was I sorry? Yes. Will I do it again? Probably because I am just a little stupid that way. Of course it won't be right away, but enough time will pass that the call of the greasy fried food of some sort will call my name and off I will go because it is the easy way out.

However, I am proud of myself that just last night I did not succumb to my weakness. My husband and I had a night alone and were going to go out for dinner. The more I thought about it the more I just couldn't think of a thing that sounded that good out there. We stayed home and I cooked a healthy dinner and have healthy leftovers for lunch. Pat on the back for me. I might actually get the hang of this yet. It has only taken me 40 years or so.

I do wish it would come off faster, but then I didn't put in on in a week. Slow and steady. Keeping the rules (well most of the time). I have to read my own blog to remember what they are. Maybe eating healthier will help my memory too. That is another story.

Week 1

My intentions are always good and as always I started my diet on Monday. My goal was to focus on Rule 1, cutting the carbs. For the most part I succeeded until Thursday. Thursday was Mac and cheese day. Need I say more? Well I will anyway. I found myself not paying attention as I was talking with the family at the dinner table and mindlessly helped myself to small seconds and thirds (maybe even fourths). New Rule - Pay attention! Old habits are hard to break!

Regardless, I did manage to lose 2lbs. Not too bad and I am happy with that. I didn't put it on over night and I am certainly not going to lose it over night. So I am going to work harder on Rule 1, Rule 2 and New Rule 5 this week. Once I conquer those then maybe it will be warm enough to start on Rule 3.

OK, I admit that yes I am using the weather as an excuse because I do have a treadmill which is in a nice warm place. I know it is more than a clothes rack and a whatever happens to land it rack, since it is in my husbands office, but that is the other major thing I need to work on "commitment." I love walking in general and walk fast as a norm, but there is just nothing appealing about walking and not going any where. It faces a wall! Who in their right mind wants to mindlessly walk facing a wall! If I open the blinds on the window all I can see are trees, which is better than the wall, but you still don't get than free open feeling. Between the drone of the treadmill and the wall it just isn't a pleasant experience. So I justify my inactivity by complaining about the weather and using it as an excuse not to do anything. Guess I need a new rule about that one too.

Back on Program

Well, I have discovered something about myself since the first of the year. I really am commitment phobic and I really don't like the word diet. Think about how it is spelled die-t. I concluded that is because you feel like you are dying while on one. Well not actually, but I am starving and I know that isn't right either. And I know I am not really starving, but there is just something about that word that instantly makes me hungry. I am just caught in a vicious circle.

I have always used the WW program, but the last time it didn't work for me. My daughter lost 35 lbs and I actually lost 12 lbs then started gaining. We live in the same household so I know we were eating the same food. I was even exercising. Most times I left the meetings in tears and could find no answers to what I was doing wrong. Well after months of spending my money for nothing I quit, as I always do. I talked with several people about it and did a little investigating on my own to try and figure out what was going on. I narrowed it down to one thing, menopause. I found that I can't eat like I did when I was 50 or even 55. I had always made the statement that if I had lost the weight by the time I was 60 then I never would, well guess what I was more prophetic than I ever knew. Here I am 62 1/2 and still fluffy.

But, now I look at it as a different kind of challenge. What I have discovered is that your whole metabolism is just goofy now. I know that has always been an easy cop out, but unfortunately for us that have made it to this glorious age (whoever coined the phrase golden years needs to be shot) now have a whole new set of rules to play by and eat by. Portion becomes very important, but also what kinds of foods we eat.

New rules:
1. Cut the carbs
2. Portion control
3. Exercise
4. Prayer

Ok, so they aren't really new rules, but I am actually determined to follow them. Rule 1 is the hardest. I love my carbs and I don't mean the good kind. In studying I have found that everything has carbs, but not all carbs are good. I love my pasta, potatoes and white rice. So we have converted to healthier versions of those three. They take getting use to, but I guess they will have to do since I don't want to live totally without them. Rule 2 naturally follows, especially with the carbs. I did learn something interesting when I watched the Doctors last week. They revealed an interesting thing about women when they get married. They tend to eat the same portion as their husbands. I had never thought about what that was doing to me over the years or even that it was part of the problem. Fluffy girl was the result. Of course I have to be honest that sometimes I just ate more because I wanted it. But, we just set ourselves up for disaster by doing that since our bodies don't metabolize the same. Proof being, it takes me 3-4 weeks to lose five pounds when he can lose that in a few days. Grrrrr! That brings me to Rule 3 - exercise. As I previously wrote in my blog about the snow shoveling, I felt better and was getting in shape. Snow went away and after a few days I went back to old habits. Here again the husband works hard all day so he keeps fit. So I have to get with the program and get moving! Rule 4 - Prayer. I believe prayer helps no matter what your situation in life. I know God listens and answers, but I have to be willing to do my part too.

So here I go again with the new program and my 4 rules that I believe I can live by. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again until I actually believe it, I can do this. The next time I post a picture, it will be an after with fewer chins!

Shopping with the Kids

Since it was a holiday for us all, I decided to pickup Mom and take all the "kids" shopping. Now shopping for a 91 year old kid is an adventure and is also limited to Shopko. Why Shopko you might ask. Well it is familiar and not so overwhelming for the kids. they can always be assured Mom (me) won't be too far away.

The "kids" (husband, daughter and 91 year old) start the trip off by immediately invading each other's space. I respond with I can't take you anywhere, keep to your own space, no hitting, no arguing or spitting out the tongue. I add a "don't make me come back there" just for effect. Right, like that every really worked.

Lesson number one, don't turn the daughter loose with 91 year old in wheel chair. After wheelies in the parking lot, daughter is corralled, 91 year old is calmed and husband mans the basket. We are off to shop. Keeping them together lasted about as long as it took to get in the door. Daughter and 91 year old headed for the clothing and husband disappeared to who knows where. Husband suddenly appears when I actually start looking at something. The purses got his attention. First he looks at the price tag, not noticing the sale sign of 40% off, and decides immediately it doesn't suite me. Now I accept a lot of fashion advice from many people, but husband who picks one color of shirt and sticks to it no matter what wouldn't be one of them. I advise him it is perfect as I can carry my lap top with me if I wanted. Husband immediately advises me it would never fit, this from a man who can't measure anything correctly the first time. Husband wins for the moment, I will come back without him.

I find daughter and 91 year old in the clothing. Show the 91 year old anything purple and she is instatly in love. It is easy to become fixated on one thing when you are 91,, but what is husbands excuse? Oh I just got it if they are all alike there is no right or wrong. How could I have not figured that on out sooner? Daughter is mortified when I pick out a sparkled animal print blouse and announce I want it to wear to church. I love messing with her mind, it keeps her guessing as to my true mental stability. She already thinks dementia has set in and it gives me the opportunity to toy with her. She didn't think much of the shiny gold blazer with the white pants either. No fashion sense. Sad for her.

I announce to hubby I am going to go shop for sports bras for 91 year old and he instantly disappears. Hmmm, should have used that one back at the purses. I will have to make a mental note to pull that card when needed.

We make the round of the store and the kids are getting restless and whine for lunch so it is time to leave. We arrive at destination and daughter again does wheelies in the parking lot with 91 year old (she actually loves it). We get her inside, parked at a table and reassure her we are coming back. We go to order food. After fifteen minutes of gazing at the menu produces nothing but confusion for hubby we finally order. He insists on changing one of his sides for extra hushpuppies instead of coleslaw which is fine. When he gets his order he then asks, what is a hushpuppy. Now most people would want to know that before ordering extra, but no I guess it sounded better than the alternative so why not go for it. We enjoyed the meal an decided we had worn the 91 year old to a frazzle. As you leave you are suppose to ring the bell if the food was good. 91 year old did not think ringing the bell was a very good idea so daughter rings it and 91 year old nearly has a heart attack. Hubby had to ring the bell just for good measure. I finally got them loaded into the car and off we went.

After getting her home I was ready for home myself. I got back into the car and it was suddenly an issue that hubby's empty cup was taking up space in daughter's domain. Oh my goodness when do they grow up! Settled them down and headed for home. I also made a mental note not to take them all shopping at the same time too often. I think I enjoy them better one or two at a time. Family, you gotta love'em!

Brutal Honesty or Just 91

Because of all our bad weather, we were unable to spend time with my Mom at Christmas. I fretted over that for a day or so and then realized that because of her dementia she wouldn't realize we weren't there anyway. So as soon as the weather cleared some, the sidewalks thawed and the streets were decent for travel, we picked her up to have second Christmas.

After her initial confusion, it was fun watching her open her gifts. She is so child like in her excitement that you can't help but get caught up in the moment. She got something pretty to wear, something that smelled good and best of all my daughter gave her a memory book. She was a little confused even with the names written below each photo, but she thoroughly enjoyed each one. Each time she saw a picture of me, she thought it was herself. She remembers herself differently from what she actually sees and is always a little surprised by the old lady that looks back from the mirror or pictures. I look forward to the day when I am 91 and can forget what I actually see and remember only how I wish I looked.

Her second time through the memory book she came to one particular photo and upon taking a closer look made a comment that she was really heavy in that one. My daughter was very prompt to remind her that it was actually a picture of me. She takes an even closer look and says well "it still stands." She has a tendency to be brutally honest and outspoken no matter who is within hearing. She isn't mean spirited, just 91 one with a few dementia problems so you always expect the unexpected. Sometimes it's quite funny and this time it really was and we laughed heartily. I also know from past experience to sit her facing away from people, give her the great view of the scenery or distract her when someone catches her eye so as not to chance an off handed remark, thus embarrassing her daughter as well as the recipient of the comment.

If the comment had come from anyone else it could have hurt my feelings, but as you already know from previous writings, I have vowed to find the thin woman within this year. This just gives me a little more determination to search a little harder for her. I am working more diligently, however, that not so thin woman within is just vain enough that just in case she is only allowing pictures from the shoulders up this year. The next memory book will have head shots only just in case.

Getting Buff

We have had quite a month! The one good thing to come out of this weather is the fact that all of us couch potatoes are actually becoming quite buff. I never thought I would say that I actually enjoy the shoveling, but I have found that I feel a whole lot better than I did a month ago. Does that mean I am becoming a person who might actually enjoy exercising? Well, I don't know that I would go that far, but I am seeing the benefits of actually doing good ol' hard work.

I am even planning what I am going to do to replace the shoveling. Oh my, I do believe I am starting to make serious changes in my life style. That is a good thing. Now I just need to keep the momentum in the months to come.

At work we were all bemoaning the fact that our backs hurt and muscles we weren't use to using ached, but we concluded it might actually be beneficial in the long run and how great all of Spokane is going to look this Spring!! I think the rest of America will be jealous. They will be wishing they had some of that snow to shovel. Of course if we were really honest, we really wish they did too.

New Year - Old Resolution

Well here I am again vowing to lose weight in 2009. Let's see, when I was 58 I vowed that if I didn't lose the weight before I was 60, I would never lose the weight. Then again when I was 59. When I turned 60 I thought OK if I don't lose the weight this year, I never will. Well here I am 62 and it is still with me. I have concluded that I can lose the weight, I just need to rethink my program since the one have had for the past five years isn't working. Of course I can't blame the program since I don't really stick to it long enough to reach my goal.

Since I am commitment phobic this is a big step for me. If I make the commitment, that means I have to actually do it and I have not been willing to make that commitment. I am now willing to make the commitment! It is a New Year and I can do this. I actually want to do this.

My reasons for losing have changed. I have a very active husband and realized that when we actually retire, I won't be able to keep up with him. I find that very distressing. We have many plans for travel and doing things. At this point I can travel, but I don't DO very well so it is time to make change.

What brought on this renewed determination was all the snow shoveling and snow blowing I have had to do in the past month. I am a slow learner. Exercise does really make you feel better. I knew this in my heart because up until a few years back I was always very active, but somewhere along the line I just stopped. Sad, but true. I also realized this has been the real problem for the past five years. I can eat right forever, but without the exercise I am just spinning my wheels. So I am going to continue to shovel vigorously and will add in other activities as we go along. The point is I am on the move no matter what! I am committed!

2008 Has Ended

I don't know about you, but I am glad to see it gone. It has been a year that I will talk about for some time to come. We started with record breaking snow and eventually sort of saw spring, at least for a brief moment.

In May we traveled back to South Dakota to lay Albert's Mom to rest. It is never an easy time. We decided since we were having to make the long trip to vacation also. We saw many interesting things in our travel and I posted here the best of the best. We then traveled on to visit my son in Idaho for a few days, but that was interrupted when Albert became very ill. I rushed him home and he was hospitalized for a week. He then had a relapse so it was a month before he was well enough to work.

Things went pretty good for a while until the vacation in September that as you now know was filled with fog, fire and frustration. But, we were healthy.

In November, I found out I was going to be Grandma twice! My son in Texas called just before Thanksgiving and my son in Idaho called just a day after. That was really good news. But, I am sad to say that my son and daughter-in-law in Texas lost their baby just before Christmas. They are doing good and are optimistic that God will bless them again.

But the best was saved for last. We have had 69.7 inches of snow this December. Let me just say that this Texas girl does not appreciate the beauty of the white stuff. Regardless, I have shoveled, slipped and snow blown my way through all 69.7 inches. The first day my daughter and I couldn't keep up with the shoveling, but we won in the end. We were beating ourselves up for not learning how to run the snow blower. You can imagine how we greeted poor Albert at the door! We immediately got lessons and have become very good at it. Well for the most part anyway. I did think at one point I had killed it and managed to flatten the tire. I then had to drag the thing a mile to get it back into the shed. I was very glad when Albert told me I didn't kill it and the tire could be fixed. I also had my car trapped in the garage due to a frozen lock and had to rely on a friend to get to work for two days. Thank you Ron!

Our mail delivery was suspended. What happened to the motto "through sleet, through snow, through dark of night" or however it goes. I guess that doesn't apply to Spokane. So we got three deliveries in 13 days. Now it is better, we get it every other day.

In the meantime, poor Spokane is falling down around us. I think we have 28 buildings that have collapsed roofs as of today. Nobody seems to care. Have you heard one word on National news? NO! There seems to be only one side of Washington and it is over the Cascades to the west. In the mean time we are falling apart and have no place to put anymore snow. OK I have vented.

Needless to say we are all ready for the New Year 2009 and all it has to bring. Less snow, maybe. A new president that I will learn to accept in time (I really will try). Good health for all my family. And best of all Spring!!!!!

Whoops!

Unfortunately our vacation in September did not go as expected. I had problems connecting to the Internet so I could post and finally gave up.

All I can say is that we had fog, fire and long long long days of travel at 25 and 30 mph on very steep roads that mountain goats had built. The Redwoods were impressive and I am sure Crater Lake would have been beautiful if we could have gotten near enough to see it. We did however have a wonderful time at Wallowa Lake.

I rode a Tram up the side of a mountain, which I will not do ever again. Being afraid of heights, I don't know what made me ever think that was a good idea. I have ridden on lifts before, but they were more of a slope going up. This one seemed to be more vertical, very vertical. I was never so glad to reach the top and if I could have walked down, I probably would have done so. But, no I had one more venture to experience. The Tram got stuck so we were hanging over nothing. I realize it was only a few minutes, but it seemed like hours in my mind. I was smart enough to ride with my back to all the beauty that Wallowa had to behold. My husband truly appreciated it since I wasn't constantly yelling for him to be still! I would have kissed the ground when we got down, but I am too cool for that. From that point on the trip was great and we saw all that Oregon's east side has to offer.

I was glad to get home. Let's just say our next travel will be a while.