Brutal Honesty or Just 91

Because of all our bad weather, we were unable to spend time with my Mom at Christmas. I fretted over that for a day or so and then realized that because of her dementia she wouldn't realize we weren't there anyway. So as soon as the weather cleared some, the sidewalks thawed and the streets were decent for travel, we picked her up to have second Christmas.

After her initial confusion, it was fun watching her open her gifts. She is so child like in her excitement that you can't help but get caught up in the moment. She got something pretty to wear, something that smelled good and best of all my daughter gave her a memory book. She was a little confused even with the names written below each photo, but she thoroughly enjoyed each one. Each time she saw a picture of me, she thought it was herself. She remembers herself differently from what she actually sees and is always a little surprised by the old lady that looks back from the mirror or pictures. I look forward to the day when I am 91 and can forget what I actually see and remember only how I wish I looked.

Her second time through the memory book she came to one particular photo and upon taking a closer look made a comment that she was really heavy in that one. My daughter was very prompt to remind her that it was actually a picture of me. She takes an even closer look and says well "it still stands." She has a tendency to be brutally honest and outspoken no matter who is within hearing. She isn't mean spirited, just 91 one with a few dementia problems so you always expect the unexpected. Sometimes it's quite funny and this time it really was and we laughed heartily. I also know from past experience to sit her facing away from people, give her the great view of the scenery or distract her when someone catches her eye so as not to chance an off handed remark, thus embarrassing her daughter as well as the recipient of the comment.

If the comment had come from anyone else it could have hurt my feelings, but as you already know from previous writings, I have vowed to find the thin woman within this year. This just gives me a little more determination to search a little harder for her. I am working more diligently, however, that not so thin woman within is just vain enough that just in case she is only allowing pictures from the shoulders up this year. The next memory book will have head shots only just in case.