Since it was a holiday for us all, I decided to pickup Mom and take all the "kids" shopping. Now shopping for a 91 year old kid is an adventure and is also limited to Shopko. Why Shopko you might ask. Well it is familiar and not so overwhelming for the kids. they can always be assured Mom (me) won't be too far away.
The "kids" (husband, daughter and 91 year old) start the trip off by immediately 
invading each other's space. I respond with I can't take you anywhere, keep to your own space, no hitting, no arguing or spitting out the tongue. I add a "don't make me come back there" just for effect. Right, like that every really worked.
Lesson number one, don't turn the daughter loose with 91 year old in wheel chair. After wheelies in the parking lot, daughter is corralled, 91 year old is calmed and husband mans the basket. We are off to shop. Keeping them together lasted about as long as it took to get in the door. Daughter and 91 year old headed for the clothing and husband disappeared to who knows where. Husband suddenly appears when I actually start looking at something. The purses got his attention. First he looks at the price tag, not noticing the sale sign of 40% off, and decides immediately it doesn't suite me. Now I accept a lot of fashion advice from many people, but husband who picks one color of shirt and sticks to it no matter what wouldn't be one of them. I advise him it is perfect as I can carry my lap top with me if I wanted. Husband immediately advises me it would never fit, this from a man who can't measure anything correctly the first time. Husband wins for the moment, I will come back without him.
I find daughter and 91 year old in the clothing. Show the 91 year old anything purple and she is instatly in love. It is easy to become fixated on one thing when you are 91,, but what is husbands excuse? Oh I just got it if they are all alike there is no right or wrong. How could I have not figured that on out sooner? Daughter is mortified when I pick out a sparkled animal print blouse and announce I want it to wear to church. I love messing with her mind, it keeps her guessing as to my true mental stability. She already thinks dementia has set in and it gives me the opportunity to toy with her. She didn't think much of the shiny gold blazer with the white pants either. No fashion sense. Sad for her.
I announce to hubby I am going to go shop for sports bras for 91 year old and he instantly disappears. Hmmm, should have used that one back at the purses. I will have to make a mental note to pull that card when needed.
We make the round of the store and the kids are getting restless and whine for lunch so it is time to leave. We arrive at destination and daughter again does wheelies in the parking lot with 91 year old (she actually loves it). We get her inside, parked at a table and reassure her we are coming back. We go to order food. After fifteen minutes of gazing at the menu produces nothing but confusion for hubby we finally order. He insists on changing one of his sides for extra hushpuppies instead of coleslaw which is fine. When he gets his order he then asks, what is a hushpuppy. Now most people would want to know that before ordering extra, but no I guess it sounded better than the alternative so why not go for it. We enjoyed the meal an decided we had worn the 91 year old to a frazzle. As you leave you are suppose to ring the bell if the food was good. 91 year old did not think ringing the bell was a very good idea so daughter rings it and 91 year old nearly has a heart attack. Hubby had to ring the bell just for good measure. I finally got them loaded into the car and off we went.
1 comment:
Golly. It didn't seem like such an adventure when we were living it, but it was a fun day. You forgot the part about us splitting a Snickers and Mama Jones taking the biggest piece.
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