New Profession

I guess after nearly 65 years it is time I learned a thing or two about myself.  I am finding that I am pretty set in my ways, I don't like Salmon, I do love grand babes and I don't like hospitals.  The last one unfortunately seems to be my home away from home.  I have become a professional hospital sitter.  Not a profession I would have chosen, but one that seems to have chosen me.

Now I have to admit that as reluctant as I am to accept this, I really don't mind being there to comfort my loved ones.  They may not say a lot, but the look on their faces when they open their eyes and see me there says it all.  Of course, I can't say they are too glad to see me once I turn on my bossy side.  I am the one that will insist they do what the doctor, nurse or therapist told them to do, remind them to drink their water, eat their meal (only other option is to have it fed to them one way or another), insist they can get up and walk, do some things for themselves or whatever suggestion I find that fits the moment.  Amid the frowns, groans and muttering under their breath, I know they will appreciate it in the end.  Well, they better anyway:)

I have learned to keep a go to bag packed and ready at a moments notice.  That is kind of sad, but very true.  Food, water and reading material are essential.  Paper and pen are also a good idea when having to keep track of what needs to be done, picked up or called. 

I have also learned to watch out for lonely male patients lurking in doorways.  You know they are on drugs because you show up with no makeup looking like you just got of bed and they think you look great in that fire engine red shirt and invite you in for a little visit.  I found I can walk very fast on these short little stumps I call legs.  I also can find emergency routes around said patients rooms.  I mean after all even in a hospital I am queen of shortcuts.

 Most importantly I quickly learn where every hand sanitizer is on my way to the door.  I am a good sitter, but I am also a little germaphobic.  I even learned quickly how to put on the Holy Family High Fashion gowns and gloves provided and proudly strutted the runway of the halls.  Yellow gown and purple gloves, hot stuff.  My only issue with them is they come fully charged with static electricity so my hair was on end the whole time I was wearing it and upon removing I often left looking like I had been scared out of my wits.  Sanitized in room, at elevator before getting on, off elevator because I touched a button and last but not least as I exited just for good measure.  Degermed, frizzy haired and free until the next time.